According to some observations, the order of birth can affect one’s personality. The personality traits of the elder child will be different from that of the younger one. On the other hand, a single child will be different from these two. Let us have a look into the connection between birth order and personality.
Most parents are vexed with the differences in personality they find in their children. Psychologist Kevin Leman says that children are not to be blamed for this. He adds that it is due to the birth order that there is a difference between them. Leman has been doing research on personality and birth order since 1967. The behavior of parents to the elder ones and the younger ones are different. And a single child is nurtured in yet another way.
A single child is nurtured in a peculiar way. Since they have no other children, the parents focus all their attention on this child. He/she gets all their attention, love and consideration. They enjoy a sort of monopoly. So, these children think that they are one of a kind. Since, they get all the support of their parents, these children also tend to carry on their shoulders all the expectations of their parents.
Here are the peculiarities pointed out by experts as found in single children:
They will be mature
They will be perfectionists
They will have leadership quality
They will have a strong conscience
They will be diligent
Since there are no other children when they are born, the eldest child also enjoys all the attention and love of his parents just like the single child. The eldest ones will have all the advantages and disadvantages of parenting. Sometimes they will behave like grownups. They are generally trustworthy and conscientious. They also have the capability to control others.
The elder ones have to take upon themselves all the responsibility of the family. They have to take care of the younger ones. This gives rise to conflict in them. Sometimes, these children are under pressure to prove their smartness before their parents.
In families where there are more than two children, the second one, or the children coming in the middle, will be growing up with less consideration and attention from their parents. They will be growing up with a vexing thought ‘I am not the eldest nor the youngest, then who am I?’ These children may not be getting much consideration from their parents. Often they would be compared to the eldest and the youngest. They will be more inclined to making others happy and nurturing friendships. They will have a large social connection around them. These people are generally peace-loving.
Experts in this field say that the middle ones grow up with a feeling that they are not adequately accepted in their family. It is a difficult task to inculcate the feeling of worth in such children.
The youngest children often get a great amount of consideration, love and care from other members of the family. For this reason, they will always try to attract the attention of others and crave more attention. All their activities will be self-centered. They will find their own means to grab attention. According to an observation, famous actors and comedians were the youngest children!
Stating these traits does not mean that these peculiarities are rigid and fool proof. Sometimes, some eldest children might behave like the younger ones and vice versa. What we need to know from this is that parents must understand that birth order can influence the personality traits of children and so they must deal with their children keeping these insights in mind.
