“From now on, I do not want to maintain any relation with that person!” said one of my friends citing the name of another friend. What was the reason?
He explained the reason for his indignation and it was convincing as well. Anyone who has such an experience from a friend will not dare to continue that friendship anymore. But, since I know that person, I tried to justify that person.
“After all he is hot tempered person. He might have told so in a moment of sudden outburst.”
“What if he is hot tempered? Let him keep his anger with him! I have no reason to bear with him,” this friend retorted.
It is true. The victim of anger suffers more than the one who gets angry. The angry person will calm down after some time. But, the one who is the victim of anger will have to suffer the bitter effects for a long time. There are many people who lose control of their tongue when they are infuriated. They hurl wounding words towards others like fiery torches. These words will often result in terminating relationships. This is true in all kinds of relationships – be it friendship, marital relationship, official relationship or kinship.
One person can be hot-tempered by nature. But, if that person does not put a curb on his/her anger, he/she may suffer many losses in life. Anger can be controlled by regular practice and efforts. On the first hand, find out why you are getting angry. Every outburst of anger has a reason. It could be an act or a word of a person… or a person’s dealings. Apart from these, some outbursts can happen without any apparent reason at all. It happens when some internal pressures gush out in favorable situations. A typical example of this outburst is about a teacher, who quarrelled with his wife, getting angry at his students in the classroom, where he teaches. He may be punishing the students for no reason. A student, who is thus punished, will pass on his anger to another person, say his mother or sibling.
This flow of anger from person to person can be controlled if one person in the chain makes a decision to put a full stop to it. Take for example the case of marital relationship. Imagine that the husband or wife gets angry for some reason. The other one will be triggered to pay back in the same coin. This will generate conflicts in the family. It will affect the children. The battle of words will leave deep wounds in the hearts. The whole atmosphere will become chaotic. If only the second person curbs his/her anger instead of retorting angrily.
Sometimes, this may not be humanly possible. It is here that one needs to train oneself to curb one’s anger. When you feel like expressing your anger, deviate your mind to some good memories. Think about the good things you have received from the one who gets angry with you. Otherwise, recall a very happy experience in life or call to mind an amusing scene from a film you watched recently. If you are able to deviate your mind to such relieving things, you will be able to evade the tendency to explode in anger. We should not forget that getting angry and behaving violently without any reason is a sign of personality disorder and mental illness.
Haven’t you seen people who throw household things and break plates in an extreme fit of anger? They are suffering from personality disorder. They are immature. We should be patient with them. But, just because other people are patient with them, they should not think that it is their right to get angry. They should be aware of the negative impacts they are leaving on their family members and relationships. Nobody would desire the companionship of an explosive person.
In a way, anger is the greatest enemy of a person. Nothing good has happened in this world due to anger. So, kill your enemy who is residing within you. It is essential for our personality growth, good relationships and peaceful family atmosphere. Kill your anger before it kills yourself. Only then you will be able to experience peace and serenity in your life and relationships.
