Everyone cries at some point. Yet when boys cry, we tell them, “Oh, why are you crying? Don’t you have any shame? Aren’t you a boy?” Are boys not supposed to cry? Never.
Developmental psychologist Professor Christia Spears Brown says that these words should never be told to boys. Christia says there are two reasons for that. The first reason is that everyone cries at some point. The second reason is that crying is a healthy way to release negative emotions.
When boys are not allowed to cry, they are deprived of the opportunity to express their feelings. Consequently, it will give rise to anger and violence in them. Gradually, neither they nor others will be able to control such emotions. So let the boys cry. Don’t tell them not to cry. They don’t like to hear such words. This applies not only to boys but also to girls. We don’t say to girls that they shouldn’t cry. Child psychologists say that not crying is the problem. Not crying over a problem or event will only create negative results. So, let the children cry.
There are certain topics that children should not hear about. Sex, death, disease, and divorce to name a few. “You are not supposed to hear this, so stay aside.” This is what parents immediately say to their children who come in while the parents are talking. Some parenting experts in Australia say that children do not like to hear this.
Children should be told about these topics in an age-appropriate manner, in a positive manner, and in gentle language.
Children do not like their parents talking to them in a dismissive way. Haven’t I told you this a hundred times? Don’t do this. This is a constant source of anger for many parents when their children’s misbehavior goes too far. Child psychologist Alan Kasdin says that children don’t like such words.
When children start writing or drawing for the first time, parents say, “You’re not doing it right. Give me here and I’ll show you.” Here, parents control the activities of their children. A Purdue University researcher says that kids get annoyed while hearing such words. Such words from parents lower the self-esteem of children. Many parents tell their children that they should learn from their brothers or sisters. Children do not like to hear this comparison, says parenting expert Rachel Raybin. Similarly, there is one more thing that parents should never say to their children: Am I not your friend? Don’t forget that this can cause a variety of errors. Don’t forget that when parents share their anxieties and worries with their children, that tension and fear are passed on to the children as well.
