Renowned psychologist Erikson says that in every stage of a child’s development, certain values must take root. When there are disruptions in this value formation it leads to learning difficulties, emotional problems and behavioral issues.
For example, from the age of one to three the child goes through a developmental stage of autonomy versus doubt. Suppose a child tries to put on their own shoes. If the mother encourages them saying, “You can do it, try,” it builds self-confidence. But if she constantly dismisses the effort by saying “That is not something you can do,” or keeps correcting and scolding, the child begins to feel incapable and loses confidence. According to Erikson, when children don’t develop confidence during this phase, they may later become susceptible to harmful habits such as smoking, alcohol consumption or drug use.
When children show signs like spelling mistakes, guessing while reading, lack of reading clarity, disinterest in studies, very poor handwriting, delays in writing, reversing letters, skipping lines while reading or writing, or adding words that aren’t there, these may be signs of learning disorders. These concerns should be assessed and addressed with the help of clinical psychologists.
Sadly, today many parents don’t hesitate to use alcohol as part of celebrations. Special care should be taken to not drink in front of children. Parents must never offer alcohol to children, not even as a taste or for smelling. These seemingly minor seeds, planted in early childhood, can grow into addiction later in adolescence.
Children who do not receive enough love or acceptance at home, from friends or from society and those who fail to achieve what they hoped for may start using intoxicating substances to cope with their disappointments and frustrations-eventually becoming addicted.
Some common signs that a child may be using drugs include: Emotional distancing from family and loved ones, poor academic performance, weight loss, fatigue, excessive sleeping or insomnia, obsessive desire for money, avoiding old friends and forming suspicious relationships with older or unfamiliar people.
In such situations, do not isolate or blame the child. Instead show love, assure them: “We are with you,” and if necessary, seek professional help. The focus should be on building a peaceful, happy and loving family environment.
In short, parents should recognize and encourage the goodness in their children. It is not enough to appreciate them only for good grades. Praise them when they do their tasks neatly, obey instructions even in small matters and offer help to others. This kind of encouragement helps build their self-confidence and strengthens their bond with their parents.
