A woman’s spring- time does not come to an end with widowhood. New springtime will arrive for her.
There is an unwritten law in the society which says that widows are outcasts, who are either expelled or to be expelled from the fortunes of life. The society condemns them that they spend the rest of their life in agony and isolation. Is it justice to quarantine them so? Why the remarriage of widows is not encouraged in India? Only 10% of widows in India are getting married again. Even in so called elite societies, widows are forced to stay away from remarriage. Even if remarriage is permitted, her own family members will often deter her from remarrying.
Usually it is the family of the deceased husband who deter the widow from remarrying. There are many reasons of this. They think that they will get a maid for the home without any pay. In joint families and in the house of husbands, widows often lead the life of a slave. The husband’s household is often unwilling to give her a share due to her deceased husband. Apart from this, it is not rare that she is sexually exploited too. You will be shocked to know that incidents are happening around us that some widows living in their husbands’ house are sexually molested by her in-laws. Even in traditional Catholic families, such things happened. Only thing is that they are rarely exposed to public. Widows are leading a life of living holocaust. Some widows think about a second marriage to come of this unhappy situation. But all things are not bright for them. Apart from the adversity of their relatives, their concern and anxiety about their daughters pull back the widows from taking a decision.
She would be worried about what kind of person is going to be her husband. She will be scared by reading news stories of sexual exploitations taking place around us. Thus she will drop the idea of a second marriage. These loving mothers will not dare to risk their daughters’ life for the sake of a secure life for herself.
The close relatives of the widow must take initiative to get her remarried, if the widow is young. In case the widow is not young and if she has got grown up children, leave the decision to her. They need not compel her to remarry. When she is ready to remarry, let her do so.
Recently, one of my acquaintances remarried. He was a man of sixty with three married children. He was living with his only son and his wife. But, even to fetch a glass of water, he had no one to help. It was in such a situation, he began to think about a remarriage. He began to seek alliance. Finally, he found a fitting alliance. It was a woman who was nearing sixty. She was a widow living in the houses of her daughters, in turn. Her daughters did not oppose to her idea of a remarriage. Both of them, with the consent of their children, entered into married life.
It was not sexual yearning that led them to wedlock. Their decision was led by a desire to support mutually. Every woman desires the security of living with a man. The woman I mentioned was happy to have a husband. That address boosted her confidence. Such practices must be encouraged and nurtured in our society.
We should take effort to wipe out the misunderstanding about second marriage. Educate them that it is neither sin nor absence of love.
A woman’s springtime does not come to an end with widowhood. New springtime will arrive for her. New blooms will await her. If her body and mind are prepared, she should follow that way. We should not block her way with erroneous set of beliefs and laws. Never try to encage her. Who gave to the authority to control the strings of her kite and hold her back from flying?
