Parenting is a field, which is highly influenced by the complexities and conflicts of the modern times. Compared to the older generations, parents of today are facing more challenges in nurturing their children. The main problem here is that both the parents are working and so they do not get enough time to take care of their children.
There are many instances in which children are neglected when their parents run after money, career and status. Today, parents try to gratify all the desires of their children and permit them maximum freedom because they want to give to their children what they lacked during their childhood.
Some parents ignore the faults of their children and do not chide them prudently, justifying them: “He is just a child!” One of the new parenting trends is to be excessively cordial to their children to gain their love and to hear words of compliments from them.
But, there are some dangers hiding here. Have you noticed the change in their reaction when you have gratified all their desires and refused once to do so? If you have understood things with prudence, your parenting is good. On the other hand, if your child gets furious or is adamant to get what he wants, there is definitely some problem.
Most children try to get what they want by adamantly sticking on to their desires and crying for that. They will follow this trait of their childhood even after they have grown up. Though you will be able to bring them under control by chiding or whacking, it will not be possible when they are teenagers or youth. Besides, parents will be ready to compromise with them due to the fear of their neighbors hearing their quarrel.
As a result, children will win and parents will lose. And the children will exploit the silence of their parents whenever they get an opportunity. There are occasions when parents are unable to satiate the desires of their children. On such occasions, quarrels arise. When these kinds of children grow up, they will dare to attack or even murder their parents for gaining money and assets.
Parents, who do not put a curb on their children who are obstinate to gain their desires during their childhood, may meet with the fate of being murdered by their children when they grow up. There is no use in trying to change your child when he/she is grown up. They should be trained at the age when their personality is developing. Parents have the responsibility to deny their child stating the reasons, when he adamantly cries for a toy or sweets. If he does not stop, you should ignore him. You should never compromise to placate him. If you compromise, he will expect this compromise even when he is grown up.
Parents should be unanimous in saying ‘no’ to their children. A mother should not secretly provide to her children what their father has said ‘no.’ If you do so, they will exploit that softness to gain what they want. Parents should be bold enough to say ‘no’ whenever and wherever needed.
Parents are not bound to satiate all the desires of their children. Only those children, who grow up knowing the scarcity of money, will learn how to keep themselves away from becoming prodigals. In case you give them money, you should enquire them about the requirement and should teach them how to spend money prudently. Money is spoiling today’s young generation. They are ready to do any nasty thing in order to gain money. One of the reasons why they are attracted to the world of drugs and smuggling is the importance their family is attaching to money and the money craze they learn from there.
While giving importance to money, a good family must not impart a notion to their children that money is what controls everything. Children should grow up knowing shortage and lack of money. When you give your children everything because you grew up in a poor family, you are unknowingly spoiling your children.
It is very important to give a spiritual foundation to your children at a tender age. It does not mean to make them a fanatic follower of some religion; but I mean to impart them the spiritual values like goodness, kindness, love, mercy, charity etc. Let them learn these fundamental values within the family. Let them grow up watching the mutual love and sharing between their parents.
Selfish ones and self-willed ones are equally detrimental to the family as well as the society. In most marital relationships, the villain is the self-willed nature of one of the spouses. So, nurture your children as good human beings from an early age. Children of those parents, who spend time with their children and remain in mutual love, will not go astray when they grow up.
