There are many among us who cannot do anything without company, who feel uneasy or unwilling unless someone is with them. Whether it is watching a movie, going on a trip or eating food-only if someone accompanies them do they feel happy. They are people who feel great discomfort in being alone. When a partner is lost, when support is lost, when parents pass away-some kind of uncertainty or anxiety tightens around them and life gets squeezed to the point where they feel incapable of doing anything.
If we ask why such a mental state develops, the answer is that our social structure itself is like that. We belong to a society built on togetherness. Also, we consider humans as social beings. There is a belief buried somewhere within us that we cannot live without mutual dependence. Even so, we do not need to fear being alone or doing something alone.
Because being alone is not an isolated condition; it is an opportunity to know oneself. It is an opportunity to face many things and to do many things. It is necessary for personality development and self-confidence.
The first step in learning to do things alone is to accept it. Believe and internalize the thought, “In this moment, at this time, I am alone.” And also tell yourself, “I love this moment.” When you begin to see being alone as a practice of calmness, the mind will adapt accordingly.
The second step is to start with small things. Do simple activities like going alone to a café, going for a walk, or going to a movie. At first it may feel difficult. Gradually, you will begin to feel joy and satisfaction in it. Show yourself the same kindness and support you show others. Understand that even if you don’t need company, you are your own best companion. Learning to be alone is the practice of respecting yourself.
It is when you are alone that you get the chance to develop your own interests and abilities.
Reading, writing, painting, listening to music, travelling-whatever attracts you, immerse yourself in it. Doing so not only helps pass time but also deepens the connection with your own soul.
The main reason for the fear of being alone is other people’s judgement. Society often does not allow a woman whose husband has died and whose children work elsewhere to live alone. “How will she live alone?”-that is their concern. That concern grows into fear within her. Similarly, remarks like “Oh, he/she is alone!” also influence people. But ignore all that. Others need not understand the comfort you find within yourself; it is something you must experience on your own.
When you begin to find comfort in being alone, many uncertainties in life start becoming clear. Then you no longer need the company of others. Instead, your mind gains more freedom to enjoy their absence. Being alone is an art-it needs to be practiced. Are you someone who has no time to be alone? There are people like that too: people who cannot be alone simply because others are always around.
They should find time to be alone for themselves. For that, keep phones aside, stay away from people for a while, and listen to the voice of the mind. It is from that voice that real strength is born. Being alone is never a punishment-it is an opportunity. An opportunity to shine and to express your abilities.
