Most moral teachings in the world are about forgiving others. ‘Forgive those who have wronged against you’ – most spiritual advice is in this track. Unfortunately, reminders about forgiving ourselves are scarce.
Every act of forgiveness has a sphere of healing. When we forgive others, it is not they but we are actually healed. Likewise, when we forgive ourselves, we receive healing; we grow. We, who forgive others and beg for their forgiveness, do not forgive ourselves. We do not ask for pardon to ourselves. We do not give forgiveness to ourselves.
As a result, we live in self-contempt and burn with guilty feeling. We spend our entire lives carrying this burden.
Suppose I did something wrong. It might be in a fit of anger. Or because of my lust. It happened because I am weak. That act might have caused me pain and despair. Otherwise, the victim of my act could be someone else – my friend, parents, life partner, children, siblings, neighbour or even a stranger.
I start burning with a guilty feeling from the moment I realize my fault. “I should not have done that’, ‘I should have been more tolerant,’ ‘I should have loved a little more,’ ‘I should have done it in a better way,’ ‘O! It happened to me!’ ‘What a wretch am I’… Your mind will be laden with such guilty thoughts. Such negative thoughts spread on your mind as a drop of ink spreads on a blotting paper.
Some people never come out of such negative thoughts. It is true that we have done something wrong. We have also realized that it was our mistake. Now, there are two ways to come out of it.
Find out if there is any solution for that act. If it can be solved, if the loss can be restituted, do it. If not, accept it. Accept what is unchangeable or unrepairable. Never enter into a conflict with what has happened. If you do so, it is like an escape – an escape from yourself. Then we are experiencing the comfort of the one living in the prison.
But, what we need to do is to come out of this prison. We are the ones who need the greatest amount of forgiveness. Forgive ourselves for our past mistakes. Why can’t you, who is able to forgive others, forgive yourself? If you do not forgive yourself, who else will forgive you?
So, everyone who is living in the painful memories of his/her past sins needs to find healing for himself/herself. No angel will come to heal us; we have to be our own angels.
