Most people see parenting as one of the most difficult jobs in the world today. Because being a good parent is not so easy.
A person does not become a good parent just because he or she gave birth to children, fulfilled their material needs, gave them good education and deposited a great deal of money in the bank.
There are people who think that the mark of good parenting is to keep the children under control and raise them with discipline. Some people mistakenly think that fear of parents is a child’s good quality.
There are people, who set boundaries for their children. They fix by themselves what is good for their children, set goals and raise their children without giving them space or freedom to think or react. These people shape the future of their children by forcing them to follow the wishes of their parents.
Studies show that setting limits to the children and raising them according to the will of their parents, or repressing them in such a way that they do not even have the right to question, will never benefit the children nor will make their future any better.
This does not mean that children should not be disciplined. Even when discipline plays a vital role in a child’s upbringing, excessive control, harsh behavior and suppression can have a negative effect on the mental state and growth of children.
Excessive and strict parenting style has been found to be one of the major causes of behavioral disorders among children. Parents may be able to make their children obey certain things by forcing, reprimanding and punishing them. But this practice leads to depression and anxiety in 60 percent of children. Authoritarian parenting can mostly bring out negative results.
Children, who grow up under the strict control and discipline of their parents, often turn out to be authoritarian and overbearing parents when they grow up. They pass on the bitter experiences of discipline and control they once underwent, to their children. Thus, another generation is made victims of this sick mentality.
Subsequently, another generation of people with low self-esteem, depression and health problems is born here. Sometimes we come across children who are lacking in sympathy or compassion. They will not be amiable; nor will they extend a helping hand to anyone. This is the bitter after-effect of strict parenting. There are many people who are incapable of establishing good interpersonal relationships. These people will always have problems in all their relationships, no matter what kind of relationships they establish.
There are children who are emotionally least attached to their parents. With heavy hearts, some parents complain that their children do not love or talk to them. Strict parenting is the villain here as well. These children do not feel emotionally attached to their parents. They do not talk openly with them. They become completely isolated individuals. The same is the reason for split personality. Some people who have a very disciplined life within in their house, have an altogether different character once they are out of the house.
In short, raise your children in discipline, but never be harsh and strict with them. Understand the boundaries of discipline and severity.
SIGNS OF GOOD PARENTING
Good parents build their children’s self-esteem. Blame, taunts, punishment, and comparisons will never be in their dictionary.
They will be willing to spend time with their children. They will consider their children, listen to them and hold them together despite their busy schedule and official duties.
Their communication with children will be precise and clear. They know how to love and will be capable of expressing their love. They will convince their children that they are willing to love them in any situation.
They will do what their Children want them to do, and they will behave in the way they would wish their children to behave. Children will speak the way they want their children to speak, which means that they will be a role model for their children in everything.
While they set limits and grant freedom to their children, they will always make sure to distinguish between right and wrong
