Every food needs to cool down a little to truly enjoy its taste. Even if we say food should be eaten hot, excessive heat can burn the tongue and throat. That is why we usually let it sit for a bit to cool down before eating.
The same logic applies to problems in relationships.
Whether it is between spouses, friends, or even a boss and an employee-conflicts, both big and small, are inevitable. The key is not to react or make decisions immediately in the heat of the moment. Like we let hot food cool, we need to give a little time for emotions to settle. Or at least wait until the ‘river clears.’
The way we respond when angry is very different from how we respond once the anger has subsided. Sometimes people rush to eat food the moment it is served without even letting it cool down, just because they are eager. The result? Burned fingers and tongue.
It is the same with hasty reactions to conflict-they usually end up worsening the problem and increasing distance. Suppose your husband or wife bursts out in anger over something. The best course isn’t to match that intensity with your own outburst.
Some people calm down after a while. Then they are able to realize their mistakes and either correct themselves or even say sorry. But then there are others who never apologize, never admit fault. They stubbornly believe they are always right. With such people trying to correct them or argue is pointless.
Everyone is different. When we understand that others also have character flaws just like we do, many issues in relationships can be avoided. The goal should be to understand each other’s personalities and find ways to adjust and coexist.
The absence of conflict in a marriage isn’t necessarily because both partners are similar, but because they show tolerance and genuinely try to understand each other. Good responses often come not from reacting quickly, but from stepping back from impulsive reactions.
