“He is so timid.” – a father’s comment about his son, laced with embarrassment.
“She is afraid of everything.” – another mother’s remark.
Do parents who describe their children in such ways realize that they themselves are often the cause of their children’s confusion, lack of confidence, and shame?
When children don’t rise to great positions or achieve the kind of success parents wish for them, it is important to understand this: the way parents continuously criticize and put their children down plays a major role in shaping those outcomes.
Every parent wants their child to grow into the best, most capable and successful version of themselves. But many lack the awareness of how to actually nurture that growth. So here are a few essential things parents should understand in raising capable children:
1. Trust Your Children
The foundation of any successful relationship is mutual trust. Studies show that trusting children helps develop their self-confidence. Never underestimate their abilities.
When children, even at a young age express a desire to try something new, avoid discouraging them with statements like “you will get hurt” or “you will mess it up.” Instead, let them try. Trusting your child lays the groundwork for their confidence.
2. Respect Your Children
It is commonly said that children should respect their parents – but parents should also respect their children. Respecting children means listening to what they say. Pay attention to their ideas. Treat them with the seriousness they deserve. Even if what they say seems immature or unrealistic, don’t dismiss it outright. When children realize their thoughts are heard and respected their self-worth and confidence increase.
3. Teach Them Self-Reliance
Don’t make your children incapable by doing everything for them. Whether the task is big or small, if your child is willing to take initiative, let them try.
Avoid the habit of taking care of everything on their behalf. Instead, encourage them to take responsibility for their own tasks.
4. Involve Them
Involve children in family activities. Let them participate in setting household rules, making plans, and solving problems. Let parents and children function as a team. This teaches responsibility, cooperation, and a sense of belonging.
5. Raise Them with Compassion
Raise children to be compassionate and loving toward others. Treat them gently, without outbursts or harsh anger. When children make mistakes or errors, resist the urge to explode in anger. While it is natural to feel frustrated, consciously practice self-control. This will teach children to treat others with kindness and patience even when they make mistakes.
6. Instill Moral Awareness
Teach children the difference between right and wrong from a young age. Only by instilling moral values and ethical thinking early on can we raise a generation grounded in integrity and responsibility.
