That woman was sensing some explicit changes in her husband’s behavior of late. He used to speak on the mobile phone in a subdued voice. If a phone call came when he was sitting with his family, he would go away with his phone and speak. His chatting continues in the bedroom too. She knew that something was happening in his life without her knowledge. One day she got a solid proof for it as well. Then she enquired her husband about it. Nevertheless, he was not ready to accept his fault despite all the proofs presented by his wife.
“In my life, there is none but you. Don’t you know how much I love you? I feel sad because you are doubting me even when I am toiling so much for our family. Someone is making you a fool to ruin our marital life. Are you a paranoiac?” he asked her.
When he spoke like this, she doubted herself. As a result, the wife lost her self-belief. She began to doubt and question herself. This could lead her to bigger mental disorders.
Reading till now, you might even think that the wife was doubting her husband for no reason and that he was innocent. But in reality, he is not. The wife’s doubt is one hundred percent valid. Here, the wife is a victim of gaslighting, which means that the husband was psychologically exploiting her. When you gaslight someone, you are questioning his/her consciousness and thinking power. You put his/her sense of reality in doubt.
Gaslighting is applying psychological dominance over the other by manipulating true things and presenting them cleverly as false, thus planting seeds of uncertainty in the other. This occurs in husband-wife relationships, parent-child relationships, and friendships.
Some parents tell their children: “You are an idiot. There is something wrong with your mind. There is something wrong with your character” etc. The child may be allright. But by frequent accusation, he or she might begin to doubt himself/herself.
The gaslighters exploit the emotions of others with their cunning talk. They are liars. They can speak any hardcore lie on the face. They spread malice against those who are their opponents. The aforementioned gaslighting husband can manipulate and misrepresent his wife as a paranoiac before others. He can also make others believe so. These kinds of people have a common question when they are questioned:
“Why are you making noise? Be calm! Don’t be sensitive.” When they speak so, we will feel that we are wrong.
Those who are regularly victimized by gaslighting have these symptoms: anxiety, despair, lack of confidence, depression, mental disorder etc.
You need to find out if you are a victim of gaslighting in any of your relationships.
You will be reluctant to ask things openly and speak candidly
You will be doubtful of your abilities and convictions
You will always think that you have some problem
You will feel remorse about your emotional excessiveness
You begin to say sorry to everyone thinking that you have done wrong
You lose confidence in your memory and begin to believe that others do not value you.
Gaslighters are actually putting our prudence and reasoning power into doubt. So never surrender yourself to any gaslighters. Mostly women are the victims of gaslighting. Studies reveal that 95 percent of women are victims of gaslighting.
Correct communication is essential for any relationship. It is applicable not only in marital relationships but also in personal relationships. Each one has the right to make a decision to respond prudently if this essential quality is absent in their relationships. Believe in yourself. Cling to right convictions. Be cautious of gaslighting people!
