Parents do not appreciate it when they hear their children cry. Most parents tell their crying children the same dialogue: “Stop crying!” But if the child continues to cry, the parents will say angrily, “Didn’t I tell you to stop crying?” Sometimes parents also raise their hands on their children.
Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and author believes that it is a parenting mistake, because this is what children learn from it: This feeling is wrong, or that it is not to be expressed. As a result, later children will try to suppress their emotions. They begin to live with a mask over their feelings and emotional experiences. A child has the right to cry, let him or her cry. Parents need to understand that feeling and respond positively to it. Only then the children will be able to build up a better personality.
Another trait found in many parents is to praise their children only for their achievements or congratulate them only if they have excelled. There are parents who lavishly praise their children only when they get full marks in exams or are toppers in competitive exams. A child who realizes that their parents want to see them as winners, will later cheat and lie in exams to win their parents’ praise. Their deceitful attempts to succeed in front of their parents, will lead them to a world of danger in the future. Anyone can appreciate success, but you become a true parent when you can console them in the failures. If they want their children to see only their success, where will they place the weight of their failures? Should parents at least be there to comfort them in life’s failures and hardships?
Most parents today are raising their children without informing them about any struggles and turmoils of life. Children should grow up knowing not only the joys but also the difficulties in life. They must be nurtured through experiences ranging from physical pain to financial deprivation. Only then will they be able to respond systematically to different experiences in life.
Parents should not solve all their children’s problems. It is sufficient to intervene, correct and guide according to their age level. Children should be given the freedom to make their own decisions and find a way out. Many parents today find themselves in a busy world. Many of them are unable to meet their children’s emotional needs. Many parents are unable to spend enough time with their children due to mobile phones and social media. Children who are raised this way, often find it difficult to form healthy and meaningful relationships as adults.
