Every parent wants their children to grow as the best person in the world. For this, parents must understand certain things. No one is born into this world as a perfect person. Children become good or bad depending on the circumstances in which they are growing and the manner in which they are trained. So, if a child grows as a bad person, he or she is not the sole responsible person. Those who partake in his or her growth are equally responsible. Some renowned psychologists put forward certain guidelines for parents to keep in mind when they nurture and train their children.
Good parents pay attention not on their children but on their behaviours.
Remember that parents should praise or discourage the behaviors of their children. But, many parents find fault with their children instead. They say: “How bad a boy are you!” This is the first reaction of most parents when they see their child behaving badly. This is not the right parenting.
You should say: “You are a very good boy! You have arranged all your toys at their right place!” Likewise, if the elder child quarrels with the younger one, do not say that ‘you are a bad brother’. Say instead: “It was not right for you to behave badly with your younger brother. I did not like it.”
This will help the child to choose wisely between good and evil when he or she grows up.
Do not make them feel ashamed, but make them feel sorry.
According to Adam Grant, a Psychology Professor, it is always better to make your child regretful or remorseful instead of making him feel ashamed. Feeling ashamed is not going to help; it will only give rise to negative consequences. Instead, if you make the child feel sorry for his or her misbehaviour, it will motivate him or her.
For example: Imagine that your child has done a bad thing. If you make him feel ashamed of himself because of it, he will grow up as a bad person. On the other hand, if you succeed in making him feel remorseful, he will be able to rectify his behaviour and thus act better in future.
Make them valuable
Grow your children as persons with self-awareness and self-esteem. If you induce your children to help their parents in household chores and nurse their grandparents and elderly members of the family, they will grow as compassionate and considerate persons. Hence, give these kind of training to your children from their younger age. Encourage them if you find them starting something new. Teach them to learn from mistakes. Encourage them if you see them doing good.
