Manu had his younger brother born when he was six years old. Manu, who was grieving because he had no little brother or sister, felt like heaven when he got a new little brother. Now, he has someone with whom he can play and pamper. He can take him to school holding his tiny hands. That was what Manu dreamed of. But, things did not happen as he dreamed.
One day, Manu sat near the cot in which his little brother was lying. He touched the tiny finger of the baby and kissed it. Then, the baby began to cry for some unknown reason. When the mother came hearing the cry, she saw Manu sitting near the baby. Naturally, she thought that Manu had hurt the baby. In a fit of anger, she whacked him. Then she threatened him: “You should never again be seen near the baby!”
She also told about this to Manu’s father when he came back from his office. Then, he too repeated the same command: “You should never again be seen near the baby!” There was no one to see the mind of Manu or know the truth. Manu was broken-hearted. From that day, Manu grew up in a resentment towards his younger brother. The distance between them continued even when they were grownups.
This is a phenomenon we usually see in families. With the birth of a second child, the elder one is kept aloof for no reason. But, how many parents are aware of the inner wounds created in the elder children due to this? One of the children must be older. Likewise, another must be younger as well. It is the law of nature. But, never try to build a distance between your children. Never instill hatred in them instead of love.
It is true that some older children are spiteful towards the younger ones. But all children are like that. Moreover, parents have the responsibility to prepare the elder ones to welcome their younger ones, when they are about to be born. We should teach them that the one who is about to come is not their enemy but friend. Only then there will be mutual love and cordial relationship between them.
The elder one and the younger one have to grow up as equals with equal rights in a family. When the elder one and the younger one quarrel, the parents should never say: “Hereafter do not go near him.” Let the children solve by themselves the problems between them. Quarrels of children are not long-lasting; they will end in a few hours. If a parent takes sides with any of them, the problem will only worsen.
In many families, the love and consideration for the elder ones diminish with the birth of younger ones. The wound resulting from this attitude will be deep. When he/she finds that all the love and consideration he/she was enjoying till then is lost all of a sudden, that child will be depressed and will feel resentment towards the new-born, whom he/she thinks to be the cause for all his/her deprivation.
When parents shower all their love towards a particular child, other children will feel sad. Parents should be able to see all their children as equals. They should be given what is due to them in the right proportion and equality. There may be occasions when a child with poor health (or because it is too small) needs extra care. But, parents should convince the other children about the reason why they are cared in a special way. When children grow up without love for their siblings, parents will grieve and accuse their children. But, they should also understand that it was they themselves who paved the way for such a situation. After all, it is the seed that was planted when they were children, that has now grown into a tree! Likewise, the seeds of hatred and vengeance sown in the heart of children will grow as trees of hatred and animosity when they grow up. This will separate children from each other and they will become enemies.
