He worked hard to build a house. It was his long cherished dream. At first glance, it was very beautiful. He along with the members of the family started living there happily. However, as days passed, unease crept into the household. Arguments arose between him and his wife, which soon spread to the children. Disputes flared up over the smallest matters. One of the friends suggested that the house’s location might be the issue and advised him to consult an astrologer. Following his advice, he invited an astrologer. The consultant advised adding an extra room to the house to solve the issue. He complied although it was an additional expense to the already existing debt, only to get peace of mind.
However, the unrest persisted. A second astrologer blamed the position of the kitchen. To fix this, the beautifully designed kitchen had to be demolished and rebuilt. The man spent heavily again, convinced that peace was worth any cost. Yet, the problems at home continued.
At last, desperate and dejected, he sought the guidance of a guru. The man explained everything in detail. The guru asked him a single question: ‘Why are you seeking external solutions for internal issues?’ Confused, the man asked for clarification. The guru explained: ‘The problem is not with the house but with the people living in it. Reflect on when these issues began.’ The man thought deeply and realized it all started with a minor quarrel with his wife. Unresolved anger, ego, and negative emotions had compounded, creating the big problems.
Often, we look for external causes for our problems and blame others. But in many cases the root cause lies within us-our attitudes and thought patterns. Without changing these thoughts and attitudes external adjustments rarely bring lasting solutions.
Most of the conflicts in relationships stem from mismatched perspectives and rigid attitudes. Once these are addressed, many issues resolve themselves.
As we step into the new year, let us introspect on our attitudes and embrace necessary changes. May this year help us overcome conflicts, nurture stronger bonds, and cultivate harmony within ourselves and our relationships. Wishing everyone a peaceful and joyous New Year!
Regards
Prof Antoney P Joseph
