“Good for nothing!” “Naughty!” “Disobedient!” Most parents call their children these names when they are irritated with them. Most parents expect their children to do everything as they command, obey everything they say, study regularly, secure top ranks, get up early in the morning and strictly follow the time table.
But, very often children may not obey their parents exactly as they ask. They may not be hundred percent submissive. This makes the parents disturbed and angry. It will hurt their ego and they will call names at their children as I mentioned above.
Parents must keep certain things in mind before calling them names. They should get into the shoes of their children and think. Understand and assess their mind. Some parents behave with their children as if they are enemies because they do not look at things from their perspective.
Some parents think that they can get angry with their children, but the children have no right to express their anger. They will shout at their children in a fit of anger so loudly that even the neighbors can hear it. But, when their children behave like that, they will not be able to accept it. Children may ask you why you are shouting so loudly. Raising one’s voice is an act of suppressing. If a parent tries to suppress his children by raising his voice today, the children will also suppress him tomorrow in the same way. Can these parents find fault with their children? These parents have no right to put the blame on their children if they raise their voice.
We must understand that children are incapable of suppressing their emotions like adults. That is why they are responding loudly when they are rebuked or corrected. Parents should understand that if this tendency is sustained while they grow up, it will adversely affect their character.
Most parents, who complain that their children are raising their voices, do not inquire about the reasons and circumstances which induced them to behave so. They must try to evaluate those circumstances and make sure that such circumstances are not repeated. It is better to express one’s anger than to suppress it. Because, a suppressed anger comes out as outbursts that can create devastating results.
Every person has his own distinct personality. Your children have their own personality. They have their own freedom, aptitudes and thoughts. Even parents have no right to traverse their boundaries into their personality. Remember that your children are persons, before responding to them. They like a tone of request rather than commands. They prefer loving corrections rather than arrogant rebukes.
Our time demands that parents should understand their children more than children understand their parents. Because, our children are not living in a time we, parents lived through. The things which we considered as serious are no more serious to them. There is no use in blaming them. Their thought patterns are different. Their time has a faster pace than our times. Parents should realize this. Once we have understood this, we will be able to understand the changes in our children and respond to them constructively and positively.
