Alex left the office a bit late. Then he was in a hurry to catch the bus to home. It was only when he got into the bus he remembered about his wife’s birthday. He had forgotten to purchase gift. If he steps down from the bus and purchase gift he will miss the last bus and will be very late. At last he decided to buy a cake from the shop nearby to his house and purchase a valuable gift the next day. Thus he reached the house with a small cake. His wife Susan was waiting for him. She was sure that his husband would reach home with gifts and birthday cake for her as it was the practice for the last fifteen years. But what happened? She became sad when she noticed her husband coming with a small plum cake and birthday wishes. At first she cried and later quarreled with him. For Alex this response was a shock. He couldn’t understand why she has become so upset just for forgetting a birthday cake or gift. The thoughts came to his mind were thus: What is important for her? The love for me or the gifts I purchase? Why she is so provoked? She was not ready to serve food to him or talk to him. She was angry in the next morning and it continued for several days.
This incident distanced Alex from Susan. Though there was no apparent problem in their relationship, Alex could not love Susan as before any more.
When we analyze this incident we can understand that the selfishness of Susan is cause of all problems. She considered her husband only as a person who gratify her well being and happiness. My own satisfaction..my own happiness..When we give importance to our own interests sometimes we fail to look into the feeling of others.
We can’t blame Susan for having become saddened because she was expecting the gifts. This frustration is quite natural as she has been receiving it for the last fifteen years. But at the same time she was to take into account the circumstance of Alex.
1. He came out of the office late.
2. It was the last bus.
3. In the busy schedule he forgot to buy the gift.
4. He could buy only a plum cake because there were no other big shops.
Instead of realizing Alex’s situation, she showered all the accusations against him. Those who give importance only to their own interests are selfish. Such small yet big problems may spoil the married life. One may think that the partner will do everything for him/her. Realize that what I expect from the partner is expected from me also.
Susan was not ready to apologize. We say sorry when we realize that the mistake is in our part. Susan was not ready to accept her mistake. Saying sorry is removing the ego. Susan was not ready to compromise her ego. In addition to selfishness ego can also spoil the marital life. It may not lead to divorce. Just like in the case of Alex and Susan the relationship may go ahead. However the partners will be mentally in opposite poles. They can’t lead a happy married life.
