When he set out on a pilgrimage trip, he visited a friend’s house to say goodbye. The friend gave him a quaker button seed and said: “When you take a bath in holy rivers as part of your pilgrimage, please wash it in the rivers. Then it will be free of its bitterness.”
He agreed.
After a long time, the man returned to his home village. When he visited his friend’s house to share his experiences on the pilgrimage, he brought with him the quaker button also.
“Here is your quaker button, which I have washed in holy rivers. Now you may use it as you like.”
The friend tasted the seed and found that it was still bitter. He was surprised to know that in spite of washing it in holy rivers, the bitterness had not been washed away.
Although this is a story, there is a truth it conveys. Every person has his own peculiarities, and a distinctive character. They cannot be changed by wielding a magic wand. The person, by himself, should decide and work to change it. The change has to come from within. Change can be achieved only by sincere desire and effort. No body else can make a change in my life unless I decide to change.
Even when I say so, I admit that there are some intrinsic traits in us. An Ethiopian cannot change his skin and a leopard cannot change its spots. We should understand and accept the peculiar traits of people around us. You will be disappointed if you insist to change the basic traits of others, although not always. This happens in family life as well as in friendships.
Just reflect the areas in your life that are yet to change. Once you realize the traits in you that you do not like, you will be able to stop trying to mold others as we desire. Although we can bring some changes in others by our efforts, we cannot bring a total change. Accept that fact. He or she is like that. Once we have realized that, we will be able to avoid clashes and conflicts in our personal relationships.
Wishing you all success!
Dr. Antoney P Joseph
